The Top Ten Guilt Busters

By Natalie Gahrmann
Success Coach/Author/Speaker

Author of
Succeeding as a Super Busy Parent

Guilt is a great waste of emotional energy. It causes us to become immobilized in the present because we are dwelling on the past. Guilt can be very debilitating. It often brings productive thoughts and actions to a standstill. Introducing logic helps counter-balance guilt and helps us stay on course. A key point about guilt is that it is a condition and not a feeling. Using guilt as a feeling masks deeper emotions and the identity of a problem.

1. LIVE IN THE HERE AND NOW

Make the present perfect. Do not expend your energy dwelling on what you should've, could've, might've done in the past. The present is a gift, enjoy it!

2. SAY 'NO' MORE OFTEN

Establish a list of what's absolutely important to you. Do very few things you resent or strongly prefer not to do. Refer to this list as a reminder of your priorities.

3. REALIZE YOU CAN'T DO IT ALL

Delegate more often. Stop trying to be everything to everybody. Avoid the perfectionism attitude.

4. PUT THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE

Determine whose standards you're trying to live up to.

5. BE SECURE WITH WHAT'S IMPORTANT TO YOU AND YOUR CHOICES

Taking action is almost always a better choice than doing nothing. Be aligned with "who" you are and base your decisions on that.

6. TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF

Do at least one thing each day just because you want to or feel like it. If necessary, write yourself a permission slip which permits you to do something special just for you.

7. IDENTIFY THE REAL PROBLEM

Take a close look at why you feel guilty and work toward resolving the problem vs. a symptom.

8. LEARN TO LET GO

Stop beating yourself up about something that's happened in the past. Once it's over let it be over and don't keep reliving it and stressing/worrying about how it could've been different.

9. SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS

Rather than establishing many far reaching goals, set small attainable goals that lead to a larger 'stretch' goal. Celebrate your accomplishments along the way. Try, also, to take just one project at a time to avoid feeling overwhelmed and guilty because you messed up on something.

10. LIGHTEN UP! HAVE FUN!

Stop taking yourself (and others) so seriously. Learn to laugh at yourself more freely. Smile more often. Find joy in simple activities.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Natalie A. Gahrmann, M.A., is a Success Coach, Workshop/Seminar Leader, author, and working parent. She founded her coaching practice, N-R-G Coaching Associates, to energize working parents by helping them create a life that is more balanced, satisfying and successful. She combines life experiences and extensive training to motivate others to achieve better results, unlock creativity and gain personal fulfillment in their work and personal life To learn more about how coaching can help you, call to arrange a complimentary 30-minute coaching session.

For more tips, advice and resources see "Succeeding as A Super Busy Parent: 75 Practical Tips for Balancing Life, Love, Kids, and Career" (Infinity Publishing, 2003) and visit http://www.superbusyparent.com.

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